Unofficial Sequel

I remember Tabula Rasa from when it was called Anarchy Online.

Wait, I guess it still is called Anarchy Online.

Someone Spent Time Writing This

LOLmacros have undergone an Explosion event, wherein they have crossed over into commercial culture. When this happens, the community which spawned the meme subsequently declares the meme dead at the same time that commercial media declares the meme alive - I call this the Maxwell's Demon Indicator (MDI). The MDI comes into play every time an underground punk band goes mainstream.

The primary reason for the LOLmacro's success is due to, in my estimation, the meme's high rate of mutability. Mutability is determined by how much alteration a meme can undergo and still be recognizable as representative of the meme.

I have devised a way to measure this mutability that I call the Novelty Index.

Here is how it works:

Novelty Index (NI) = Number of points of alteration / Total points in the meme (each word/picture/gesture counts as one point)

This requires an in-depth example:

Consider the meme "All your base are belong to us."

This takes the general form "All your [noun] are belong to us." Replacement of the noun is the most accepted alteration. While changing the verb might still lead to recall of the meme, tolerance of this variation is considered too low to qualify. Therefore, the Novelty Index is 1/7.

As the NI approaches a 1:1 ratio, the longevity of the meme increases. The Novelty Index is never greater than 1:1.

A meme with more total points will have a lower rate of transmission. Simpler is better.

Type Acceptance (TA) is the number of possible elements that can be utilized in a modify point. Suppose it were acceptable to write "All your [verb] are belong to us." The modify point would then accept [noun] and [verb], two separate elements.

A simple one-dimensional categorization of TA can be found by multiplying the number of points of alteration by the number of possible elements. For the original All Your Base example, 1 x 1 = 1.

A higher TA not only increases longevity but increases the chance that a meme will spawn a new subtype.

To sum up, All Your Base has an NI of 1/7 and a TA of 1. With only 7 total points, its transmission rate is high, but its longevity is quite low. This is a meme that saturates quickly but holds no long-term amusement value.

Note the "i'm in ur base, killin ur d00ds" as diagrammed by Anil Dash has an obviously higher NI.

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When classifying elements one must keep in mind the subset. LOLmacros are the parent set of image macros that utilize altered leetspeak, as noted by David McRaney in this post. Therefore, LOLcats is a subset that exclusively uses cat images. This specificity must be factored into any calculations.

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As a case study, there are many crossover elements between (1)I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?, (2)Cute Overload, and (3)ytmnd. All three are heavily image-based yet dependent on text.

(1) is made up of elements that can be easily reduced to an automated process. However, the text must still conform to bastardized leetspeak and will no doubt be judged harshly if the phrasing seems inconsistent. While no unified grammar exists at this time, there are aesthetics which can be gained by exposure to examples - and like any specialized art community, whatever is accepted is what is acceptable, whatever is rejected is excluded from the set.

(2) is similar to lolcats, but it employs a baby animal as its centerpiece. Text is not deployed on the picture but in a post body, blog-style. Nevertheless, the text is a vital element in the overall composition. The speech employed can be either pedantic or an altered babytalk.

(3) has one of the highest NIs possible, as should be apparent by the number of new sites created every day. The front page explains the simple formula: "It stems from an idea that, using sound, and image, and some text, the users can convey a point, funny, political, or otherwise, to the general media." To be more specific, it follows the form [tiled image/looped video (often altered)] [sound loop] [splash text]. The NI is 3/3 (though it is acceptable to leave out the text) and a TA of 12. The challenge in creating a ytmnd is to link all three elements into a unifying concept, much like the creation of a punchline.

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It should be noted that the mathememetic analysis detailed in the first part of this post utilizes very simple calculations.

There is a more advanced method for obtaining the TA, but it uses matrices to track points, possible elements, and acceptability in order to arrive at several limit sets.

But that requires Alolgebra.

Report Card

Disclaimer: There isn't one.

Chris Bateman has another religion-oriented post up. I plan on responding in more depth at some future point. I've got quite a bit cooking, but it needs a little longer in the oven. There's a lot of necessary mulling before I commit anything to the digital winds. More metaphors must be mixed before the fermentation process completes.

In the meantime, however, I've taken the liberty of giving a small critique plus grade to each of the Atheist Religions cited by Chris.

Mostly, I was bored. Also, though, I miss the Book of Ratings.


Humanism

As a religion, people get kind of shafted by Humanism. It's mostly just an affirmation not to be such an asshole each and every hour of each and every day and maybe, just maybe, use your fucking brain for a change. It's "Do Unto Others . . . " with a lot of overhead. American anti-intellectualism pretty much ensures that Humanism will always remain on the fringe. One of the drawbacks is that every few months someone has to write a new manifesto that promises to revitalize the radical notion that humans deserve dignity from their fellow humans, then a flame war erupts, then there is haggling over semantics and finally a schism. Whatever you do, stay away from the Transhumanists. C+


Naturalistic Pantheism

This won't work for me. Pantheists consider the Universe divine and sacred, and I don't know how one would recognize something divine or sacred. I think that the universe is complex and awesome and pretty fucking mysterious, but I don't think that's the same thing. You could use a similar metaphor and just believe in Leibniz's monads. Or Philip K. Dick's VALIS. If nature is God then why resort to the latter metaphor anyway? If you're just calling it God because you want the leeway to anthropomorphize, you're probably better off with something more authoritarian. C


Atheists for Jesus

Definitely can't hang with this one. What words were attributed to this mythical figure that form any kind of concrete ethics? Do unto others? Turn the other cheek? Not peace, but a sword? Between ripping off every other sacrificial god-man and the eschatonic, prophetic gobbledygook, Jesus lacks a certain clarity. This, of course, is great when you want to justify any old thing, but falls apart when you try to maintain consistency. Why not pick Mark Twain? Or Appolonius of Tyana? Or Balzac? D-


Theravada Buddhism

This is where that pesky philosophy/religion semantic debate pops up. If it's simply a subjective process of self-reflection based around meditation, then why all that rubbish about non-self and attaining enlightenment? They also have that whole Appeal to Dead People thing, where all the old disciples of Lord Buddha attained enlightenment but almost nobody will get there nowadays, because we suck. How very convenient. Oh, and they still have that Buddha-worship nonsense, where he supposedly obtained omniscience and supreme compassion. Bully for him. Everyone wants to be a superhero. B


Ch'an Buddhism

Lots of internally contradicting statements. It's well known that oxymorons lead to spiritual awakenings. Just think of The Sphinx from Mystery Men. They seek to erase the self and attain a state of no-mind. The tricky part is that destruction of the self is akin to suicide. No hero-worship, so far as I can see, but plenty of zaniness. It's the Tiny Toons of religio-philosophy. Do-do-dee-o. B+


Taoism and Confucianism

Taoism's a blend of pseudoscience and folk mythology. Think of it as the Dim Sum of mysticism. Confucianism, on the other hand, is mostly an ethics. We also tend to credit it with the rise of Bureaucracy, a religious organization based around ladder-climbing and losing paperwork. Oh, and corruption. So if you like lots and lots of rules and authoritarianism combined with superstition and poisonous herbal remedies, then this might be your cup of tea. C-

Bonus: Tantra's pretty cool. It works for Sting. But it also takes a lot of patience and practice. Why not just cunnilingus and cock rings? A, if you're determined enough


Jainism

Likes the Truth, emphasis on the big 'T'. This is what you want if you really, really want to dig into nonviolence. They even refuse to destroy whole plants for food. These guys are ascetics, like, in a major way. Guess that nonviolence isn't total, because they can definitely kill a party. They're really into the notion that the world will go from shit to good to shit, and so forth, in perpetuity. Eternal Recurrence malarkey. Also incorporates the Cosmic Accounting System known as karma. There's lots of talk of karma particles that adhere to souls, which treads dangerously close to Scientology territory, except that Jainists are unlikely to ask for all your money in exchange for brainwashing you. Harmless, if they're skilled enough. B


Jediism

No. F+


Discordianism

A joke that's not a joke that's a joke. This religion is syncretic only in the sense that it throws in everything, plus the kitchen sink. Ha, Sink! And then throws it all out. Mostly a way for extravagant/flamboyant theater majors to act wacky and pretend it's deep metaphysics. On the plus side, you get carte blanche to be eccentric. And the drugs, man. Also, no stuffy Popes, but high risk of cross-pollination with prominent nerd groups. Did I mention the drugs? A

Church of the Subgenius

Didn't X-Day come and go already a few times? Why wasn't this religion canceled? Can I get my money back? Ah, fuck it. B