So Much For Hyperbole

Holy Shit!

I was totally trying to exaggerate the notion of patenting different aspects of video games. But looking into the issue a little deeper, I've discovered that I was, at the very least, on the nose (and possibly even not heavyhanded enough in my estimation of the sheer stupidity of already-existing patents).

"Thus, assuming it has perfect information, the Patent Office will not issue a patent for an invention whose purported advancements are already found in, or are obvious from, the prior art." [My reference]

Here's the phrase that jumps out at me: "assuming it has perfect information."

The problem is that they don't even have decent information concerning video games.

I know, I come off as one of those ultra-liberal "information wants to be free" assholes. And, well, I am. So fuck you.

But really I just find software patents to be (like most patents), for the most part, unnecessary. Software is already covered under copyright. They effectively place restrictions on a method rather than an invention. You aren't placing a patent on a specific configuration, but rather a broad process, meaning that even if your program bears no resemblance to the one used to make the patent, it can still be considered a violation if it does something similar. Am I wrong in thinking this idea is absurd?

Shit, I'm going through an existential crisis. Soon all available virtual and real-world processes will be patented. Whoo, time for some hyperbole!

Patent #505068108374
Method for the scrubbing of teeth utilizing a brush and performing said brushing in both side-to-side and up-and-down motions, repeatedly, and in conjunction with a manufactured cleaning paste. Ostensibly for both whitening and brightening said teeth, but not necessarily in fact. Please note that circular motions will be considered a mixture of side-to-side and up-and-down motions for the purposes of this patent.

Maybe I'm just being unreasonable.

So be it.